she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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