Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
