i think my tv is drunk
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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