your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
