physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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