TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Im part way to drunk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
