I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
