what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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