I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
