I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Shame is for Republicans.
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