PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
