He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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