He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
