It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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