it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
