discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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