Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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