were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
