So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
