My brain says no but my pants say off.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Congratulations! We have a period
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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