Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
