Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
