I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
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