walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
