OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
