My girlfriend figured out who you are.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
