You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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