What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
