i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
