Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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