took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
