My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was like eating out sand paper
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
