Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
