you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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