we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
