saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i've created a new STD.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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