Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
