You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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