So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
