I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
