Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
