he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
