You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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