I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
