You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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