She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
