Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
