Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
