She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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