I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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