Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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