Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
