He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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