Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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