you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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