The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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