Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
